The Quest
by Soror Cygnus
I realized tonight that it's been about 10 years since an
experience that changed me forever. I literally went to bed one night a
completely different person than when I awoke that morning. A friend asked me
tonight, did my change happen gradually through study or was it like a bolt of
lightening out of the blue. "It was a bolt", and I grinned and teared
up at the same time. I had an emotion conversation with one of my sisters that
day. I told her about our grandmother's death, as I bore witness to it. That
night, I lay in bed with Jarrod to help him get to sleep. Seldom did I fall
asleep with him, because I always had things to do around the house once the
boys went to bed. As I lay there waiting for him to fall asleep, I replayed the
conversation with my sister over in my head. Emotions rose higher and higher,
and finally I mentally asked a question to my grandmother, to the Universe, who
knows, but immediately I felt a strange sensation of expansion. I felt it all
over my body even though I was aware that my body remained still and small,
truly the shell it is and always has been. My consciousness went way out there.
As cliché as it sounds, the place I went was rich with love and peace, so much
so that it soon became unbearable, even to my altered consciousness. I was
still somewhat aware of my body and mind, and neither could process the energy
of that place. And then, I was shown the world in its entirety, its people, its
wars, its love...everything. After I came back to normal consciousness I
remember thinking to myself, "Ok, I'm not drunk; I'm not on drugs; I'm not
bat-shit crazy; I wasn't asleep; what the hell was that?" That question
started my quest, and has led me down winding paths, all within myself. People
asked me how I came to be involved in the things I'm involved in. There it is.
