The Quest

The Quest

by Soror Cygnus

 I realized tonight that it's been about 10 years since an experience that changed me forever. I literally went to bed one night a completely different person than when I awoke that morning. A friend asked me tonight, did my change happen gradually through study or was it like a bolt of lightening out of the blue. "It was a bolt", and I grinned and teared up at the same time. I had an emotion conversation with one of my sisters that day. I told her about our grandmother's death, as I bore witness to it. That night, I lay in bed with Jarrod to help him get to sleep. Seldom did I fall asleep with him, because I always had things to do around the house once the boys went to bed. As I lay there waiting for him to fall asleep, I replayed the conversation with my sister over in my head. Emotions rose higher and higher, and finally I mentally asked a question to my grandmother, to the Universe, who knows, but immediately I felt a strange sensation of expansion. I felt it all over my body even though I was aware that my body remained still and small, truly the shell it is and always has been. My consciousness went way out there. As cliché as it sounds, the place I went was rich with love and peace, so much so that it soon became unbearable, even to my altered consciousness. I was still somewhat aware of my body and mind, and neither could process the energy of that place. And then, I was shown the world in its entirety, its people, its wars, its love...everything. After I came back to normal consciousness I remember thinking to myself, "Ok, I'm not drunk; I'm not on drugs; I'm not bat-shit crazy; I wasn't asleep; what the hell was that?" That question started my quest, and has led me down winding paths, all within myself. People asked me how I came to be involved in the things I'm involved in. There it is.